Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Mind You Don't Cut Yerself, Mordecai

In what must be an amazing confluence of events, Mrs. Sarcastro and I will be welcoming a new addition to the family. The new member will be joining us sometime in March. I would like to say that, " ...there was too much love and beauty for just the two of us. Every day we kept a child out of the world was a day he might later regret havin' missed." Those of you who didn't attend rural or religious schools know that it doesn't usually work that way.

Apparently, this woman, who looked as fertile as the Tennessee valley, couId definitely bear chiIdren. The doctor expIained that her insides were not a rocky pIace where my seed could undoubtedly find purchase.





Besides, these are getting too big to cuddle.









We fully expect to be in a blog feud with Lindsay over at Suburban Turmoil. She is due about the same time. We may have to Rochambeau over who gets the hospital bed. It is entirely possible that both women are due on the same day. Must have been a full moon that particular night in June. Or, I think it was June.

"C'mon kids, get away from Mr. Ferrier's car."

16 Comments:

At 1:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For my reaction, refer yourself to The Onion's 9/11 headline.

Seventh seal indeed.

Now go make her a sandwich. I hope it's twins.

 
At 7:18 AM, Blogger Exador said...

Full moon, hell! Haven't you seen Village of the Damned?

I'll bet there are a bunch more pregnancies around the Nashville area.

If that kid pops out with white hair and glowing eyes, kill it immediately.

If not? Congratulations, you Breeder, ya!

 
At 10:03 AM, Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

Congratulations! When I went to buy a pregnancy test, the clerk said I was the sixth person to come in for one that evening. You might be onto something.

 
At 10:20 AM, Blogger saraclark said...

It sure was nice of Mrs. Sarcastro to marry you and make an honest man of you.

There is nothing more pitiful than a pregnant un-wed father.

The word of the day-Lamaze.

 
At 11:02 AM, Blogger Sarcastro said...

Lindsay, I'm surprised there were any tests left. She bought like six of them. At one point, I considered taking a picture of all six glowing positive. Though they don't really glow, it would be cool if they did. You pee on the stick, turn out the lights, and if the stick starts glowing an ethereal green, you are pregnant.

Sara, screw that Lamaze deal. Mrs. Sarcastro is going to get cut up like a Thanksgiving turkey to get that little sucker out.

 
At 12:05 PM, Blogger Kat Coble said...

I guess this means I win the pool.

 
At 9:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

holy fertilized egg, Batman!

Congratulations. It's just one surprise after 'nother, round this blog.

Are you registered at the 8th Avernue Kroger (singular!)?

 
At 1:42 AM, Blogger Ryan said...

A sincere Congratulations to the four of you!

Get your sleep while you can.

Best,
Ryan

 
At 5:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mrs. Sarcastro will not miss a thing by foregoing natural childbirth. Trust me. Why in the hell anybody would CHOOSE that option is beyond me.

How in the world do people keep news like this so quiet? Everytime I was pregnant everybody knew by the time Mr. Smiff had gotten up and got dressed.

What a fun time for your family. Maybe not Mrs. Sarcastro..

 
At 7:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations to you and your family! And thanks to you I now can't quite shake the image of Nicolas Cage wearing a pair of pantyhose on his head. I may have to rent Raising Arizona today.

 
At 8:01 AM, Blogger bridgett said...

Good luck with little Mordecai...

 
At 11:08 AM, Blogger Busy Mom said...

Great news!!

 
At 2:01 PM, Blogger Kathy T. said...

Last time I got preggers I cried for days at the horror of childbirth. I mean JOY of childbirth. They are worth it. Congrats!

 
At 4:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gee,wadda ya know,ya wienie works.Big woo!

 
At 6:34 PM, Blogger Sarcastro said...

Thanks for the congrats, all.

Anon, I'm sure your mother already told you how well my weinie works.

 
At 3:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bet you thought I was anon, didn't you. You ODB. omedetou

 

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