Toilet Training

When the baby arrives, I'll be going out of my way to avoid changing diapers. As we all know, baby poop is the worst kind. Whatever I have to do to get out of doing my share of the butt wipin', I'll do. Note from the doctor, called up by the Army for one last secret mission, lost coming back from the Trojan war and stuck on an island full of pigs, cyclops, hot chicks, polar bears, lotus eaters and mysterious hatches--I don't care which. Any excuse will do.

I don't have any specific aversion or phobia related to this desire to not be involved in the baby's crap. Honestly, I just don't want to do it. It reminds me of a conversation I had many years ago with one of my employees. We were discussing slavery. Harold, being black or Afro-American as is apparently the new preferred nomenclature, had a very strong opinion regarding his role in the antebellum South.
"If I was back in slave times, I'd be a house nigger!"
"How come, Harold?"
"I gots allergies!"

That's what I need; an allergy to dirty diapers.

Meanwhile, I'm planning ahead for the toilet training. There are many books and experts with various theories about the best way to go about this.

I have my own ideas about how this will go.














(photo credit:Justin Cook, University of North Carolina)